Step 4: Use Your Strengths at the Right Time
Art Credits: Evening Landscape (1899), Akseli Gallen-Kallela (Finnish, 1865 - 1931) Artvee.com
Leading with Steady Action
“How do I know when?” I hear some version of this question often from my students and clients. They are usually talking about when to test out a new leadership behavior, like voicing something they care about or, on the flip-side, listening deeply to someone they care about. It’s a great question, this question of “when,” and we’re going to touch on it this month.
If you’ve been following along, you know that we’ve reached Step 4 on our leadership development path toward “leading with steady action.” Step 4 is about using your inner strengths at the right time to take action toward your developmental goal. Before we get started, take a moment to orient yourself to where you are in your own change process. Might this be “the right time” to review your developmental goal?
Last month we explored our inner strengths, resources we can draw upon to lead, live, and make decisions.
But knowing your strengths is only part of the story. The magic happens when you begin to choose which ones to use in specific situations. The question to answer is: “what strengths will help me with what I want to do?”
Play your Strengths Like Music
Our strengths are like keys on a piano and we are the musicians that play them. Imagine your piano has 24 keys. To make music, you can choose to strike one key or more than one, as you do when you play a chord. Our strengths allow us to “make music” in whatever task, conversation, and project we’re working on.
There’s a great deal of hope in this approach, in the way it opens up our imaginations to see new ways of fueling our work and our relationships. But these new visions can unconsciously create the expectation that we must immediately learn to create beautiful “music.” That somehow we must suddenly know how to use our inner strengths perfectly.
Having a vision is helpful, but if you notice an impulse to achieve it suddenly, take that as a cue to break that vision into small steps or experiments. In other words, the answer to “what strengths will help me with what I want to do?” may well be "I don't know yet. Let me try using a strength or two and see what I can learn from it."
So, keep your vision of expertly using your strengths at just the right time and pair it with realism: in order to do something well, you practice it.
As you practice, you'll inevitably hit the wrong key at the wrong time, and create dissonance. When this happens, simply shrug it off, say “I am learning” and, as the Loving Kindness teacher Sharon Salzberg reminds us to do, simply begin again. Listen, adjust, and try a new chord that you think fits the moment.
Practice: Experiment to learn which strengths to use
Here is how to practice using your strengths…
Instructions (also available in this online template):
Revisit your development project by pasting your statement here:
Example: I’d like to be creating more and sharing what I create, using color, texture, and the 5 senses. Using my hands. Creating music and art for my family, baking bread, developing recipes, writing poems. This means more time in my kitchen, piano room, art room and going to the theater, museums, and other events for inspiration.
First: Create a goal based on your project: when do you want to work on your development project, realistically, and what part of your project would you like to start with?
Example: I seem to have time and energy to be more creative in the late afternoons and evenings, but I know I do better when I start small, so I’ll start with once a week. Tuesday evenings are usually pretty open. I’ll commit to cooking next Tuesday evening. As I’m cleaning up at the end of the evening, I’ll commit to the next time.
Second: Identify up to 3 strengths that could help you accomplish your goal. Then write down how using them could help you achieve your goal. There are lots of options. Enjoy the process!
Example:
Judgment: this will help me be realistic about my time and energy, plan accordingly, and make decisions.
Social Intelligence: this will help me reach beyond my own routines and habits of mine to tune into others' ideas.
Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence: this will help me tune into the final details of how I present the meal, e.g., setting the table and plating the food.
Third: Make a concrete plan and run your experiment.
Example: I used judgment to block off time on Tuesday to cook and reserve time to plan what to make and go grocery shopping. I used social intelligence to recall a conversation with a friend where she recommended a recipe I am interested in making. I used appreciation of beauty and excellence to buy flowers from the store, take time to arrange them in a vase, set the table, and plate the meal so it is more appealing for my family to eat.
That’s it! Make a plan and do it. If you are struggling, simplify your plan so it’s easy enough to do.
Fourth: Reflect on your experiment.
What happened? What was that like? Would you do it again in the same way or make any adjustments?
That's it for this month! I hope this has been helpful in getting you more comfortable activating your strengths and practicing applying them when they’d be useful to you.
Next, we'll work on "how to see the path from where you are to where you want to be."
A leadership tip
You know how musicians sometimes play dissonant chords on purpose? You hear it a lot in jazz. It might feel unexpected or a little tense, but it’s not wrong. The same goes for how we use our strengths. You might surprise yourself by leaning into a strength you don’t usually use in a certain situation. That may not be a mistake; it could be a sign you’re experimenting, stretching, and finding your own music.
